I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just want nice things and good sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
