turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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