Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
