What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
