why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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