My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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