I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
