And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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