my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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