you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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