I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
