Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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