You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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