Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
