we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
