K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
