I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
