it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize