nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
