Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Buhtt sex?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
