I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
