Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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