is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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