"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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