walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize