You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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