Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
