i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize