Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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