just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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