I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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