i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How's work?
Spinning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
