I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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