All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
