Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
