On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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