i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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