we have pet lesbian snakes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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