I'm going to jail i love you
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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