EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
