Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
