i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
