Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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