Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize