what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
