do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
