he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
