dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
