i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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