I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
