how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
