My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
