whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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