Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
