He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
